True Love by Student of Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa Chris Butler
PART 1: GAURANGA MEDITATION
We are going to be speaking on a very relevant subject for all of us. But before we begin, we’re going to do some very easy meditation. I’ll be presenting an understanding from the yoga philosophy. There’re many different yoga systems, yoga paths. But in all the different paths meditation is one of the main activities.
And we will be doing this meditation for three basic reasons. Number one, we have probably been quite busy today, so it’ll help us to slow down, to relax. Number two, it’ll help us to understand our subject matter a little more easily. And number three, you get to learn this meditation, you can take it home with you.
We will be engaging in mantra meditation. Mantras are transcendental, or spiritual, sounds. They originate in the spiritual realm and descend into the material realm. Because they come from the spiritual realm, they bring with them great spiritual power. When we contact this transcendental sound, we receive great spiritual benefit.
So, the card that you should look at now is this one. It is in yellowish color with a very beautiful personality on it. And it has the mantra GAURANGA, one word mantra GAURANGA. You will notice GAURANGA is divided into four syllables: GAU-RA-ANG-GA. Just to make sure we have our pronunciation correct, we can all practice saying that now. First I will say the mantra, then everyone can respond. Everybody ready? GAU-RA-ANG-GA, GAU-RA-ANG-GA. All right, very good.
Now, our technique is also very easy. This is a deep breathing technique. We begin by breathing in through our nose very slowly and gently, but also very deeply, taking the air all the way down to the lower abdomen. And as we inhale, silently in our minds we will chant: GAU-RA-ANG-GA. When our body is filled with air, we begin to exhale and out loud we will chant: GAU-RA-ANG-GA. Then we will repeat the process.
Before we begin, we want to relax. To help us relax, we’ll take a big breath and let it out. While we do the meditation, we want to listen closely to the sound, also put the mind on the sound, meditate on the sound. And when we finish – just sit quietly for a couple of moments and feel the effect.
It’s good to sit erect in your seat, this helps us to breathe. Feet flat on the floor is the best. Uncross your legs, for sure. This causes blockage in the system.
All you have to do is simply follow my guidance. Remember to relax and meditate on the sound and silently sitting and feeling the experience at the end.
Everybody take a big breath, let it out and relax. And now very slowly, gently and deeply inhale and chant GAU-RA-AN-GA in the mind. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. Two more times. GAU-RA-ANG-GA. GAU-RA-ANG-GA.
HARIBOL. So, you can see this is very easy meditation to do, and maybe also you find it’s quite relaxing. This is an excellent way to begin your day and it is an excellent way to end your day just before sleep at night. So, you can practice on your own.
PART 2: WHO ARE WE?
Before I begin, I always offer my respects to my spiritual masters, my teachers who have brought this knowledge to us. All the information I’ll be presenting comes from the Vedic scriptures. The Vedas are very ancient scriptures, they were written down 5 000 years ago. But the knowledge itself is eternal. So, prior to be written down, it was passed down orally from one perfect master to the next. Such a line of perfect teachers is known as a disciplic succession, or parampara. We are in the parampara known as the Brahma Sampradaya, and we feel very fortunate to receive our knowledge through this linage. So, this is not my opinion. I am just passing on this eternal science.
Now, the subject of love is one of the most talked about and relevant subjects of life. It also one of the most complex. Let’s just say, it’s the most complex. It’s so confusing, hardly anybody understands really ‘love’. So, we are going to try to look at it very, very closely and see what we can learn. To do this, we must begin at the beginning.
Who is loving? Love is an exchange that takes between two people, you can’t love alone. That is a big problem for many people. They want to love, but they don’t have anybody to love. It takes two people. So, we must understand who we are. The Vedas say we all should ask ourself exactly that question. Who am I? But, unfortunately, we almost never ask this question because we think we already know the answer.
And, certainly, we all have our identities. We’ve had them our whole life; we have them in our minds, we have them on our lips, we even have them in our pockets. Meaning this is who I think I am, this is who I tell others I am, and I prove it with my passport, my documents. But is this our real identity?
And upon close examination we discover this is only a compilation of many labels. And the labeling process begins at birth. So, all of us here now, as soon as we took birth, received one of two labels: male or female. And we still identify like that: “I’m a man” or “I’m a woman”. At the same time we get another label according to our race: Caucasian, Negro, whatever it is. Our national identity can be very strong: “I am Russian,” “I am American.” And, of course, our family identity: we belong to this family. And, actually, this identity is so strong that every day on this planet one person kills another person just because they have a different label. And this is just the beginning.
Many labels come and go throughout our entire life. So, once again, at birth we’re also known as babies, then – kids. We start school, now we’re students. A few more years go by and we become teenagers and finally – adults. We take up some profession in life and we are known accordingly: doctors, lawyers, secretaries, nurses. Then we get married, immediately we’re a husband or a wife. We have a child, now we’re parents: fathers, mothers. A few more years go by – grandfathers, grandmothers. This is how we see our self, “This is me, this is who I am.” This continues on and on, until we finally get the last label – dead.
But looking closely we see: this is all in relation to our material bodies. It’s true: the body is male or female, black or white, old or young. Whatever the body is, it is. That’s true. The question is: “Is this who we are?” Every day we all take our pilgrimage to the mirror to see how “we” look. Sometimes we’re a little disappointed. We always come back the next day, “Gee, maybe there’s been some improvement!” But do we really see our self? So, the question is: am I this material body?
If we want the most authoritative answer, we should go to the revealed scriptures of the world. And there we learn: no, we’re not the material body. But this is the modern world. It’s very rare that there’s anyone who goes to scripture to find the truth in life. However, we do readily accept the conclusion of the scientists. We like the scientists cause they prove things. And, uniquely enough, in this case the scientists have proven in their laboratories that we are not our material body.
They have discovered there’s no cell in the human body that lives more than five years. Some cells have a very short life. The lining of the stomach: those cells live five days. Our skin cells – one month. Liver cells – six weeks. Etc. But in five years everything has changed. So, if I look at a photograph of myself taken 10 years ago, the eyes in the photograph are different than the eyes I’m looking at the photograph with. They’re not the same eyes. According to this scientific formula, if I am 35 years old, I‘ve had seven bodies. But, of course, we all know we are not seven different people. Everybody knows: I’m still me. So, the changing factor is the material body, the constant factor is our self. And we’re not these material bodies.
Now, at this point some people become meditative or introspective. They begin to look inside to find out who they really are. And when we do look inside, what do we find? Emotion, desire, feeling, will. It’s all very real. And it’s easy to conclude: this is who I really am. But we must confirm this with scripture and especially the Vedic scriptures, because they are very detailed in this knowledge.
And when we do, we learn we’ve made yet another mistake. This is not who we are either. This is actually another material body. It’s called the subtle mental body. Sometimes it is called the astral body. I’m sure some of you’ve heard of the astral body. So, really we have two bodies: our physical body and our mental body. Like having on two layers of clothes: an outer layer and an under layer. But the question still remains: “Who am I?”
So, once again we go to the Vedas. There we learn we are in a different category of energy. Everything is energy. Our bodies are material energy. Вut we learn that we are spiritual energy. We further learn we are a tiny spark of spiritual energy.
We learn that material energy is temporary. That’s easy to see. We know all too well these bodies are very temporary. So much so we don’t even want to talk about it, “Hey, hey, don’t talk about that!” But even the more permanent things like this building. Come back here in one thousand years, “Gee, where was that lecture again?” You see. Temporary. However, we learn that spirit is eternal. Eternal means no beginning and no end. So, we are eternal.
We also learn that material energy is non-living. And again that’s easy to see: this table, this microphone – there is no life. But we learn that spirit is life itself. There is no such thing as live matter, there is no such thing as dead spirit. We are the life force in the body. As long as we’re in the body, the body’s called alive. But actually that is not true. The body’s dead. We are alive. That becomes very obvious at the time of death. At the time of death we leave the body, and at that moment the body reveals its true nature. It can’t even sit in a chair, it falls on the floor. So, we are the life force in the body.
Therefore, our true identity is spirit soul. Spirit meaning that we are spiritual in essence and soul meaning this individual spiritual spark that we eternally are. We never become someone else. We never cease to exist. For some people this is very depressing news, “What? I’ll always be me? Gee, I thought it’s going to be over soon.” Sorry, it’s never over. However when we learn the truth in life, it becomes very wonderful news. So, once again, we are spirit souls.
And we further learn we are part and parcel of the Supreme Soul. There’s the Supreme Soul from which we all come. We are known as the atma and the Supreme Soul is the Paramatma. Now understanding this, then we can begin to discuss our topic of love.
PART 3: NEED FOR LOVE
Love is something that is so prevalent in our life, so needed in our life and so strong. In fact, we go through life trying to find it. We’re very concerned about: will somebody love me or not? We dress a certain way to attract love. We may wear perfumes, fix our hair a certain ways, go to the gym, build our muscles, talk cool, act cool, drive nice cars, whatever, trying to make it so somebody will be attracted to me, love me. Certain fashions come and everybody does it because it increases the chances, you see, tattoos, whatever.
I remember one time I saw a guy and he had chicken bones in his ears. I thought, “Wow, who’s going ever to get up with this guy?” No, He’s reduced his chances a lot. And later I saw him with someone who had a chicken bone through her nose, so I was like “Oh, I understand... The chicken bone cult.”
Everybody’s looking. Now, why is it? Why is it so important for us? I remember there was a friend of mine who had a son, 14 years old. It was in Los Angeles. He was a cool guy, had many girlfriends... you know, one of those kinds of people. So, one day he and his friends go down to the beach on Sunday and met some gang members from the opposite gang (Los Angeles – many gangs; he was in a gang). They began a big fight. He got stabbed in the back, immediately paralyzed from the waist down. Now the rest of his life he’ll be in a wheel chair. And his main concern was: “Who’s going to love me now? Who is going to love me now?” Old people: when our bodies get old, the same kind of dilemma – who’s going to love me now? It’s so necessary.
Now, scientists are always experimenting with everything and very often at the expense of another living entity. So, they took baby monkeys away from the mother just after birth, put them in a cage alone. They gave them the correct food, temperature – everything was conducive to their physical needs. They even put another monkey in the cage with them. But this mother monkey was made out of wood. These little baby monkeys went up to this wooden monkey, clung onto this monkey and cried. And eventually they all went crazy. You see, we need love. We need it.
Remember who we are. We are spirit soul, not the material body. And the soul enters into many, many different kinds of bodies. Wherever there’s life, there’s a person inside that body. Maybe in a tree: in a living tree there’s a person living in the tree, that’s the life of the tree. Fish, insects, reptiles, animals.. – if it’s a living entity, then there’s a person inside like you and I.
See, this is important to understand, all this is important.
So, the soul has many inherent characteristics like water has the inherent characteristic of wetness. Right now there’s water in this glass. I haven’t touched it but I know it’s wet, because all water is wet. You cannot separate wetness from water. You cannot separate heat and light from fire. So, in the same way the soul has many inherent characteristics. The soul has many needs. There is a natural condition of the soul. One of those natural characteristics which is a requirement for the soul is love. Without exception. Doesn’t the dog want love, too?
Some of you may have house plants. You may be one of those people who really take care of their plants. Can’t you tell when your plants are happy? When you give them a lot of attention. You neglect your plant and the plant won’t grow so well. See? Why? Because the person inside that plant body needs love, too. You’re not going to change that.
That’s why we’re all in the same position: we want love, we need love. We all know inherently that the most important thing in my life is love. If I have love, everything else is basically secondary. But if I have everything else and no love, all the other stuff doesn’t help. I have no money, I have no anything but I have love, life is ok. But I have money, fame, etc., etc., and I commit suicide.
A friend of mine is an artist. She was telling me about this famous artist in London. He’s won all kinds of awards, written books. He is somebody in the art world. And so, he had just won some big prestigious award and he invited her to his house. He was so depressed and he told her, “You know, I have got this award. Most people couldn’t dream of ever achieving it, but I have got nobody to share it with.” You see, loneliness. Loneliness is a big problem.
PART 4: WE LIVE IN ILLUSION
So, really, it’s not like we like it. It’s like we must have it. Why is it in this world that love which causes the most happiness, or it is supposed to, oftentimes ends up causing us the most pain? The more we love someone, the more pain it causes. Why is it that the one we love the most is the one we wind up hating the most? You see? It doesn’t make sense.
The number one violence in the world today is not wars. It is not street crimes, acts of terror. It’s not this. It’s domestic violence. Domestic violence is the number one violence in the world. I have just seen recently statistics from Russia. 14,000 women in Russia die from domestic violence each year. And that is the ones they know about. A lot of things aren’t reported, people don’t know about it.
So, again, it becomes so confusing. You see, our hearts are broken many times. “The Beatles” had a song “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.” “Heartbreak hotel” was another song, “Oh, my heart is broken... My heart is so full, I love, I love... Oh, I’m broken. He ripped my heart out.” So, it’s really very, very confusing.
But there’s an understanding that we can have. You see, the reason it’s so confusing and so on is because, number one – we think we are the material bodies. We basically know nothing about our true self, the soul. So, the conclusion is: I am this body, I am young, I am old, I am beautiful, I am ugly, whatever. That is the first illusion. The second illusion is that what we call love in this world is not love. Now, we must explain this.
The soul by nature is love. You can’t separate love from the soul. Now, when the soul, whose original home is in the spiritual world (this is our original home, this is where we came from) comes into the material world, we become covered by different layers of material energy. Actually, there are eight layers. This is technical, but it is necessary to understand these things.
So, here we have the pure soul comes into the material world. The first covering is the covering of false ego.
False ego. A lot of people that I meet that have studied some esoteric teachings, read some books, heard some people who speak on the Internet, – they say, “Oh, I have to get rid of my ego. Oh, I have such a big ego, I have to get rid of it. I’m working on it. I’m working on it.” What they don’t understand is: you are the ego. Ego means “I.” You can’t get rid of yourself. You’re eternal spirit soul, you’re not going to get rid of yourself.
But when we come into the material world, we become covered with a very subtle layer of material energy like a veil that covers us. Our vision becomes clouded. This is false ego, the false I. And after that, all the true understanding of myself is turned upside down. And that’s when I conclude I’m the body. False identity: I am great, I am number one, false pride, etc. It’s false, it’s not true. So, to put it in real straight terms, it’s a lie. So, really, we live a lie. But we don’t know that. We’re so covered, so much in illusion, we don’t know this. So we base our whole life on this illusion.
I like mathematics because it is an exact science, no room for speculation. It doesn’t change from time to time. There’s no such thing as new age math, it’s always the same: Two plus two is four. Thousands of years ago, today and thousands of years in the future the same: two plus two is four.
So, you’re trying to work out a very complicated in-depth mathematical problem. And you work, and you work, and you work... but in the very beginning you make a small error (in addition, let’s say). And from then you work very correctly and you get your answer, but it’s wrong. It’s not right, it’s the wrong answer. And you can never get the right answer until you go back and correct the original error. So, we’re trying to solve the problems of life (which we all are, automatically so), but we have made this original error: I am the body. So, we work, we work, we solve this, we solve that, we study, we think, we philosophize, we have our experience, but we don’t solve the problem. Because we don’t solve the original mistake.
PART 5: LOVE IS THE OPPOSITE OF LUST
So, here is what we don’t know. The soul has this quality of love. We come into the material world, we are covered with this illusion, the false ego. The soul emanates its qualities through this false ego illusion. And it comes out on the other side not as love but as lust. Think like this: there’s a light, a pure white light. When you pass this white light through a red glass disc, on the other side of this red disc the light is red. It is changed, now it’s no longer white, it’s taken on the color of this red medium it passes through. So, in the same way, when love passes through the medium of false ego, it comes out as lust. But we don’t know this. So, what we call love in the world today is actually lust.
Lust and love are opposite. Love is giving, love is not about oneself, love is about pleasing the one that is the object of your love. Your pleasure is in seeing your loved one happy and that makes you happy. The loved one is in the center of your life and you revolve around making that person happy. That’s love. So nourishing, so warm, so beneficial for everybody concerned.
But lust is exactly the opposite. Lust is when I want something from my object of lust: “What can you give me? You’re supposed to make me happy. At the expense of yourself (it doesn’t matter what that expense is), you’re supposed to make me happy.” It’s very selfish and it never satisfies. Love always satisfies; love is always satisfying. Whereas lust is never satisfying: the more we get, the more we want.
In the great Vedic scripture Bhagavad-gita, there’s a very clear scenario outlined. It’s described like this: from the contemplation of the sense objects (you see, the eyes look, see an object that attracts them – chicken bones in the nose, “Oh, nice! Chicken bones!”)... So, from the contemplation of the object of the senses one develops attachment: I’m attached to this, this represents pleasure for me.
And in the material world we are the pleasure seekers because this is the nature of the soul – to be happy. Another quality. It is the nature of the soul to be happy. In the material world we’re not happy, maybe temporarily our senses are stimulated in a pleasant way, but we’re not really satisfied.
So, we see this object, it represents pleasure for us. We contemplate it. We become attached. Then from attachment comes lust. Now the energy is beginning to move very strongly. This is all involved with passion. Passion becomes the ruler. Lust and passion dominate me and I do whatever I do to try to solve that, to satisfy that need.
And then when I’m not satisfied (which is inevitably the case), I become angry. I’m now in the next phase: from lust comes anger. That’s why the more lusty the relationship is, the more anger there is, the more violence there is. This is the scenario that takes place.
And then it describes: from anger comes bewilderment of intelligence. We do stupid things, we say stupid things, we say things that hurt the other person. The person we love the most, we try to hurt the most. We usually have a special vocabulary reserved for them. We dig deep, sharpen the knife to make the person suffer as much as possible. We lose our intelligence, so we say things, we do things we wouldn’t do.
And then – bewilderment of memory. And we just fall into this whole mess of material misery. We call it love. But it’s not love, it’s lust. You see, that’s why it results in this way. So, don’t say, “Love is bad”, “Love is this and love is...” It’s not love. It’s lust.
So, in Bhagavad-gita also it’s declared: lust is the all-devouring sinful enemy of the world. Lust is our enemy, but under illusion we see it as our friend. We think, “Ohh...” And then we connect all these feelings of lust, “Oh, this is great!” You see. On and on it goes. We don’t recognize the enemy, this is not our friend. It destroys us. It takes us far, far away from love.
Now, remember, lust is the perverted reflection of love. Love is the most powerful force of all forces. You know, it is declared that the Supreme Lord is All-powerful. No one can defeat the Lord. Nobody. Yet He is defeated by love, the love of His children who are so lovingly devoted to Him.
So, love is so strong that it even conquers the All-powerful. There is no stronger force than love. Therefore, when it takes its perverted form of lust, it retains the power. It doesn’t lose power. But now that which was the most nourishing force, that which actually brings true happiness to the soul, that which is what we need above everything else, now becomes our enemy. It’s the most destructive force. You see, it’s turned over. Therefore, we in the material world are controlled by this all-devouring enemy. It eats us up.
PART 6: WHERE TO FIND TRUE LOVE?
What are we going to do about it? We can’t not have love. It’s like the man in the desert – he needs water. You can just give him all kinds of philosophy, “Oh, you don’t need water. Don’t worry about this. Think positive. It’s only been five days since you had a drink. Do you remember how good the water was before? Don’t worry!” But The guy needs water, he says, “Get out of my life, man! I need water!” So, we can come up to people and say, “Oh, don’t worry about love. You don’t need it. You can do without it. I mean, you had love one time, remember? Long time ago. Mom loved you a little bit. You know, there were some sweet moments, remember those?” You go on the bright side. And you say, “But I need it! I need it!”
So, we’re not going to give up, we’re not going to give up. Maybe after so many disappointments, one relationship, another relationship, we want to give up, “I quit! No more, finished! Forget it,” and we go and get a dog. And love a dog, or a cat, or a bird, you see. I knew one girl who had a big snake, “I love my snake.” Big one, a boa. He gave her such good hugs that she almost died, “Aaah, I love you...” That was her object of love. I couldn’t get it. But, anyway, we’re not going to quit, don’t think, “I quit.” We’ll try to find that love somewhere.
But the intelligent person wants to know where real love can be found. You see, “These cheap imitations of lust – I’m over it!” You see, lust is like this: it’s so sweet in the beginning, it’s like nectar, “Oh, this is it! Finally! I found it!” And our little hearts jump, “Trrrr”, we have all these palpitations and goose bumps. “I can’t sleep at night!” So sweet. The symbol of love is the heart, and better yet it’s a candy box like a heart with chocolate inside, so sweet. Valentine’s Day. Do you have Valentine’s Day here in Russia?
-I love you!
-I love you too!
And the next day... (slap sounds), “This is the way I am loving you! Believe me!” Strange love. It’s not love. But the heart is just expressing itself in this perverted condition.
Why the heart? This is another good point. Worldwide the heart is the symbol of love. I remember one of the first times I came to Russia. I don’t speak Russian and the letters aren’t something I can relate to; it looks like Greek. So, I see some graffiti, some writing on the wall); there’s something I don’t know at all, and then a heart, and then something else. But I understand what it means: Anya loves Sergey. I get the message. Or, I go across a bridge and here’s all these locks on the bridge sealing their relationship, their love, “Oh, we’re locked together in love.” A short time later that guy’s there with a hacksaw cutting the lock off, throws it in the river. But we don’t give up.
So, what do we do about it? How do we solve this problem? And believe me, it’s a problem. This lifetime, next lifetime, all lifetimes – it’s the same. What’re we going to do about it? We have to actually go to the world, to the realm, of real love, not imitation, fake love. And that’s on the spiritual level. The spiritual world is the world of real love. In the spiritual world the one emotion that dominates is love. In the material world the one emotion that dominates is lust. So, we can learn how to change lust into love.
If we came together with another person, say, we have a husband or a wife, whatever our relationship is; it could be parents and children – the same thing applies). You see, there are different kinds of relationships which are based on “love.” There’s the servant and master relationship. Not servitude, but the servant: he’s loving and serving the master. Then there is the friendship relationship, the love of friendship. Then there is parental love, parents and children loving each other, parental love. And then there is conjugal love, paramours, two people loving each other (a man and a woman, a husband and a wife, whatever), paramour love. It’s all love, or, in the material world – it’s basically all lust. And it’s not that we have to only have one, (we can have friends, we can have parents, and children, and lovers, and servant-master relationship), and that one relationship will make a complete life. And we know that. Intuitively in our hearts we know, “This is what is missing in my life.” So, in the process of bhakti yoga we learn how to achieve this.
And the one object of love is the Supreme Person. And this is the message from all the perfect teachers that have ever come amongst the human race: “Develop your love for the Supreme Lord FIRST.” It doesn’t say that’s the only love, but the first. That’s what we must do.
The Supreme Lord is the reservoir of love. What does love come from? The reservoir. We as a spirit soul have a little bit of love, and with this little bit of love we try to satisfy another person. And, in the best cases, they also try to satisfy us with their little drop of love. It’s a wonderful attempt, but it’s just like a drop. It’s like... let’s use the guy in the desert again. He’s dying of thirst, and you come up and give him a drop of water. And that tastes great, wonderful. But it’s not enough. It’s not enough. But if you take him to the oasis, the reservoir of water, he can satisfy his need for water unlimitedly, and so can every other thirsty person.
So, the Supreme Lord is the reservoir of love. When we develop a loving relationship with Him we are connected with the source. So, our need for love is completely satisfied, our hearts are filled with love. But our hearts overrun and we have love now to give unlimitedly, to not only the husband or the wife, the children or our friends, but to all living entities, all living entities. So, the lover of God loves everybody unlimitedly. So, in our little worlds, we are so limited in what we can do that we can’t really do much. Again, a few glasses of water don’t satisfy many people in the desert. So, that is why if we want to be happy... And, again, the only way to be happy is the happiness of love, the only way; this is the only thing that makes the soul happy.
So, if we connect in this loving relationship with the Supreme Lord, we become truly happy. Not the happiness of this world which is so temporary, so fleeting, comes and goes like this, “I am happy today, I am distressed tomorrow.” We can’t hang on to the happiness. We can’t hang on to the love. The world’s designed like that.
PART 7: SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIP
We might love someone so much, but then death separates us, inevitably it’s like that. At a wedding ceremony this is declared, “I promise to love you until death do us part. So, it’s already built in, “I love you until we are parted by death.” So, it’s temporary and it doesn’t fulfill us completely anyway. And then we’re so sad when our loved one leaves, which is normal, yes, of course. But in the life or realm of spiritual love, true spiritual love, which is filled with vision, true wisdom: I don’t see my wife, or my husband, or my children, or my parents, or my friends as an object of my pleasure, I don’t see them as the bodies.
Another dilemma arises. Say I am attracted to a person because their body’s very beautiful but time takes that beauty away. That body that was so beautiful before, now is losing its luster. It starts getting fat, wrinkled, can’t perform the functions it used to, “Oh, I used to love you. Now I don’t. I’m not attracted to you anymore.” Everybody’s in anxiety about that, “How can I keep that attraction so my husband won’t run away for some young thing?” You see, it’s a very, very big source of anxiety, because it’s all lust.
When there’s love, it’s not a problem; these things are not like that because you’re not loving the body, you’re loving the spirit soul in the body. So, if you have two people both receiving the love that they need from their relationship with the Supreme, sharing that relationship with each other, they’re happy. They’re happy because their hearts are filled with happiness. This person is not the source of happiness. Another person, another jiva soul (or spirit soul) cannot make us happy, they can’t. Only the Supreme Lord makes us happy. So, it’s all a losing battle: they can’t make me happy, I can’t make them happy.
See, in the beginning here’s a person, “Oh, this object is so beautiful.” So we play our game, “I’ll make you happy. Don’t worry, you will be with me – you will be happy, I’ll take care of you. But it’s not true. And then we’re disappointed, “Oh, I thought you were going to make me happy. Hey, I am not happy. Come on! What?” So, then there’s anxiety, problems.
But if we know the truth and we’re honest, we tell the truth, “Look, I can’t make you happy but you and I together can connect to the source of happiness. We’ll both be happy and then we can happily have our life together.” This is on a spiritual level. This is real. Death comes – no big deal, no problem. They’re not your source of happiness. It’s not like, “I’m going to die without you!” No, I’m not going to die without you. I’m going to die but not because of that. We’re all going to die.
It makes life so different.So, so different! Relationships – so different, families – completely different. Everybody’s fulfilled, everybody’s actually satisfied with life. We’re not walking around burning with lust. And, again, lust starts so, so sweet. But it ends like poison, becomes so poisonous. Whereas true (spiritual) love is ever increasing in bliss, in happiness. This is what we need.
The drug manufacturers on the street, they’ve tried to have a substitute for this, “Let’s make a drug that will make it so we feel so very happy and we’ll love everybody.” So, they put the chemicals together and came up with the drug that so many young people very much like now called ecstasy, “Ecstasy! I am in ecstasy, I love you...” You see, there was a town in America where this drug became very popular early. people were taking ecstasy and falling madly in love. So, somebody made a bumper sticker, it said: “Do not get married for at least three days after taking ecstasy.” “I love you, I love you!” and then the drug goes away, “Oh, man... Good bye!” You see, there’s no substitute for spiritual love, no substitute.
PART 8: THE TRUTH ABOUT LOVE
So, we’re all looking for love. Why not look in the right place, give up looking in the wrong place? Then we will find it. Because the Supreme Lord loves us all unconditionally, eternally. See, He already loves us, no matter what we do. We turn our back on Him, we declare He doesn’t exist, we do whatever sinful things we do, but He still loves us. You can’t make it so He doesn’t.
Again, the material world is so different in that. In this world, love is so conditional, “I will love you if... (you do this, this, this).” Even now some marriages come with contracts. Each person writes their part of the contract and then they sign it. If one of them breaks the contract, they take it to court, “Look!” That’s not love. That’s lust. That’s business. That’s crazy.
So, the Supreme Lord loves us unconditionally. We can’t say this about love in this world. We’re always in anxiety in this world of “love”. The first anxiety is: I won’t find anybody to love. Then we do find somebody. The next anxiety is: I might lose them, they might go to somebody else. And then the third anxiety: they went to somebody or they died, I lost them somehow. So, before, during and after, there’s anxiety.
Spiritual love is none of that. The Lord doesn’t fall out of love with us. We don’t get a letter from Him saying, “I’m sorry, but I don’t love you anymore. I’ve found a new one.” That doesn’t happen.
In this world if we have somebody, we don’t even want to introduce them to our friends, somebody might steal them. You take them to a party and everybody’s trying to grab them:
-Oh, would you like to dance?
-Hey, that’s mine!
-No, come on!
And she goes, “Yes, ok.” So, she is dancing with this other guy, and you’re sitting there and you’re so envious, so angry. All kinds of quarrels over those things. You can’t even look at somebody else:
-I saw you looking at him!
-I saw how you looked at that girl when she came in!
So much anxiety.
But with the Supreme Lord, whose love is unlimited, you want to introduce to everybody.. And not like, “Hey, look who I got! Look at mine! Look who’s on my arm!” No, you say, “This is who I love and I want you to love Him, too.” And you just go and tell everybody, “Hey, love Him and tell your friends also! Everybody, come on!” How different a world is that! It’s amazing. And you, all alone before, are now finding true happiness which is ever increasing. So, these are the truths of love.
I know a lot of people come to a lecture with this title thinking I’m going to be speaking about romance and how to find the perfect one, how to get the most ecstasy. But I’m trying to tell you how to find TRUE love. And this one thing that we want... let’s say like this: there’s one thing that we and the Supreme Lord agree on. If nothing else, we all agree on this one thing: He wants us to be happy and we want to be happy, so we’re on the same page. The Lord and I are now on the same page: I want to be happy and He wants me to be happy.
And He tells us how to achieve that. You don’t just wake up one morning and there it is. Because the heart is impure, very contaminated. You have to cleanse the heart, get rid of the illusions, overcome lust with love. That means we have to have a lifestyle that actually produces this result. See, it’s not cheap sentiment I’m talking about. This is the real thing. It comes from a pure heart.
PART 9: HOW CAN YOU PURIFY YOUR HEART?
How do you cleanse the heart? The Supreme Lord tells us exactly how to do that. He says, “If you chant My names...” The Supreme Lord has many, many names, an unlimited number of names. They’re all endowed with His spiritual potency. He says, “If you chant these names, it will cleanse your heart of all the dust accumulated for years together, all the karma, all the illusions, unwanted desires; it can be cleansed away.” He says, “It extinguishes the fire of lust.” It’s described in Bhagavad-gita that lust is like a blazing fire. The Lord’s names extinguishes that fire. Chanting these names, that is how it’s done.
It’s a very, very simple process. You’ve just engaged in this activity. We chanted in the beginning this mantra GAURANGA. This is spiritually potent, spiritually purifying, it cleanses the heart. So, you take these mantras, you add it into your life and that heart which was so contaminated and only produced lust becomes pure and radiates love for everybody. This is true, it can’t be wrong because the Supreme Lord declares it.
This age we live in now is so difficult, but we can overcome all these difficulties with this technique. And as we all intuitively know, if our hearts are filled with love, everything is ok, everything is ok. My life is filled with hard times – it’s ok. Physical hard times, financial hard times, old age comes – all these things, natural events always taking place in our lives. It’s ok, because we’ve got a platform of love, we’re standing on solid ground. And we get our pleasure from bringing this gift to others also.
And when we leave the body, we go back to the world of pure love. And really, if we were truly experiencing this cleansing of heart, we are in that world while still here. The world is up and down: pleasure-pain, happiness-distress... But we’re on a steady platform. It’s going on around us, but we’re on a steady platform. In America, I don’t know how it is here, there’s a saying: “Get a life!” So, this is the life that we are looking for. So, it’s achievable, it’s doable, this is not just wishful thinking. Anybody and everybody can do it.
So, that is the goal in life, really, for the human form. That’s what we should see as the real goal. We have these other goals, that’s ok. But the real goal which we should connect everything to in achieving this is love for God. That’s real life. This is the only way to overcome lust and all the things which come with that.
So, those are the ideas.
We will give you a chance to ask questions but before we get to that part we are going to do another simple meditation. These meditations are food for the soul. This is what we’re missing, food for the soul.
So, in the package there is one more card with mantras, different mantras. The first one is: HARIBOL NITAI-GAUR, NITAI-GAUR HARIBOL. The second mantra is: GOPALA GOVINDA RAMA MODANA-MOHANA.
Again, we ask you to repeat this with me to get our pronunciation correct. I will say, you respond. Again, everybody ready? All right.
HARIBOL NITAI-GAUR, NITAI-GAUR HARIBOL. HARIBOL NITAI-GAUR, NITAI-GAUR HARIBOL. GOPALA GOVINDA RAMA MODANA-MOHANA. GOPALA GOVINDA RAMA MODANA-MOHANA.
Very good. The technique is different. You already know the technique. It’s called singing. Everybody knows how to sing. I know you do. So, I’m going to play guitar and sing the mantras while you listen. Then you sing the mantras while I listen. So, it’s back and forth, like this. As before, we want to relax and meditate on the sound. So, just relax, chant out loud, meditate on the sound, and we’ll have a nice time.
Kirtan.
Thank you very much. This is called sankirtan, can be a lot of fun. And tomorrow night we’re going to have a complete presentation on this mantra meditation. So, we invite you to join us, bring a friend, bring an enemy – bring them all.
PART 10: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Question 3 – How to tell a friend about true love if he doesn’t want to hear?
How can I tell my friend about real love if he doesn’t want to hear anything about this philosophy?
It’s known: you can’t tell somebody something if they don’t want to know it. See, there has to be a receptive audience. If you’re sitting here and don’t want to know what I’ve just said, then it’s not going to go very far. But if you want to know, then you can penetrate very deeply. So, if they don’t want to know, what can you do? But if somehow you can arrange that they can hear these mantras... they purify everybody, maybe they still won’t want to talk about it but they’ll be benefited anyway.
Question 4 – What about reincarnation?
What about reincarnation?
That’s a whole lecture in itself... but very briefly: The spirit soul, being eternal, obviously resides somewhere. When we have our material consciousness that means we reside in the material world, in material bodies (many different kinds). Each body is very temporary, it doesn’t last long. We live our term in that body, then we go to another body according to our consciousness, desire, karma, etc., and then after that – to another, another ... (This is the wheel of birth and death.) Until finally we develop this love for God, while we have the human form. Then we go back to the spiritual world and get off the wheel of birth and death.
Question 8 – Will the true love last for a lifetime?
If one comes to this true love and overcomes his ego one day, can it be said that this love will remain forever till the end of the life, or it comes and goes away from day to day?
True love doesn’t come and go. And once you achieve it, it is so complete and so satisfying that you don’t involve yourself in activities, lifestyles that cover that, take it away.
Question 9 – While chanting the mantra, I wanted to cry.
While chanting the second mantra, I felt like crying. Why is it?
I can’t tell you exactly because it’s very personal, but I can tell you this is deep meditation which contacts you with the Supreme Lord directly. And that can produce all kinds of feelings, emotions, etc. Like I said, it’s very personal, but certainly this is not some shallow thing, this is very deep.
Question 12 – What to start with?
All the time you were talking about the source of love, that it exists and that one has to aim towards Him. By which means, by which practices one can come to the source? What to start with?
Start with hearing. This is the first process. So, you have been engaged in that process tonight. And the next process is chanting. Those are the two main activities: hearing and chanting. There’re other processes as well, but you start here: hearing and chanting. This is the process of devotional service, bhakti yoga.
Question 14 – Conscious dreams and entering the astral dimension – what is the difference?
Conscious dreams and entering the astral dimensions. What is the difference?
The astral dimension is the realm of the mind, also known as the psychic realm. And conscious dreams are also the realm of the mind as well. You see, so there’s a great similarity here. And a lot of people put a lot of importance on this. This is actually what some people consider to be a spiritual path when really it’s not. See, it just means you’re entering a more subtle dimension of the material realm. This does not satisfy the soul. This is not recommended by the great teachers. We do not address this, we don’t practice this. It’s quite easily achievable but what have you achieved? You’re just in another place in the material world. And you can get stuck there; there’re all kinds of negatives, not to mention the distractions from the real goal. So, in this bhakti yoga teaching, we don’t sanction or pursue diversions.
Now, as far as one question previously. I said that the soul is in the sperm of the father which is true. But the father did not generate the soul. The soul is placed there. There is all kind of arrangements, and sometimes we spend too much time trying to figure every detail out which really is immaterial; it doesn’t matter how exactly everything works.
Sometimes I use example of a computer. Many people use computers, basically everybody, but very few people really know how it works. But they know: if I push this and this, move the mouse and click, then certain things happen. How it works? How all this Internet stuff work? Wi-Fi? I don’t know. The server, who is that? Some guy back there serving things? I don’t know. But I know if I go to Gmail and I do this, this and this, I can read a message from somebody. I can write a reply and push “send” and it’s gone. And it works; that’s all I know.
So, sometimes we get too wrapped up in the details, “Oh, how’s that?” Again, this is a distraction. These are our analytical minds, so we get all wrapped up in things. There’s a saying: “We cannot see the forest for the trees.”
So, we thank you very much. HARIBOL.